That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize