Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?