I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
