They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
