Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...