So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.