So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing