Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.