I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night