Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
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Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.