im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
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Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
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I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way