i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.