Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
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Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.