Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.