She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
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I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?