So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.