I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.