Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.