We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend