I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.