if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab