Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So how was he last night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.