my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.