I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You need a sexual gate keeper
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.