OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.