It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.