Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.