Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.