Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

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  (913): very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute. http://tfl.nu/bjrt
  Replies (11) Good night (490) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

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  (703): its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out http://tfl.nu/sd1u
  Replies (22) Good night (490) Bad night (5030) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color

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  (407): How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color http://tfl.nu/2fci
  Replies (26) Good night (489) Bad night (1942) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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  (203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.

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  (404): I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/xlvi
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to

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  (662): Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to http://tfl.nu/r6si
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks

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  (775): He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks http://tfl.nu/jztr
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (237)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl

  (313): View more from Michigan

  you mean his girlfriend

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  (312): he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl (313): you mean his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/d9fr
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (1004)
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  (408): View more from California

  Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.

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  (408): Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding. http://tfl.nu/vpqq
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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  (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf
  Replies (25) Good night (489) Bad night (1421) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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  (479): Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits. http://tfl.nu/uo57
  Replies (13) Good night (489) Bad night (2945)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?

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  (203): Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night? http://tfl.nu/k5ad
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (1516) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

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  (609): why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs? http://tfl.nu/z5vs
  Replies (19) Good night (489) Bad night (1698) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?

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  (315): What's a good pandora station to masturbate to? http://tfl.nu/c2un
  Replies (7) Good night (489) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots

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  (614): the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots http://tfl.nu/2b0r
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt