Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
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So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
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I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could