I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?