No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
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I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
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I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in