So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
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So how was he last night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.