Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.