In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills