You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.