Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman