Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (626): View more from California

  yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably

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  (626): yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably http://tfl.nu/rjum
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?

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  (902): Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"? http://tfl.nu/mn11
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

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  (504): so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads http://tfl.nu/yn7g
  Replies (24) Good night (495) Bad night (6963) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.

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  (847): This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car. http://tfl.nu/cnfz
  Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (1837) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit

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  (720): I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit http://tfl.nu/p0py
  Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?

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  (309): Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety? http://tfl.nu/ikg5
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.

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  (519): It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night. http://tfl.nu/y7pe
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

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  (+61): I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING. http://tfl.nu/8crd
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.

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  (317): That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal. http://tfl.nu/kp6j
  Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (171) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.

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  (480): She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress. http://tfl.nu/19rj
  Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (1173) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.

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  (814): This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/kq64
  Replies (11) Good night (494) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

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  (774): i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD. http://tfl.nu/8lo9
  Replies (28) Good night (494) Bad night (5261) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor

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  (310): Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor http://tfl.nu/gni2
  Replies (7) Good night (494) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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  (913): I want to be your penis for a week. http://tfl.nu/ha1f
  Replies (10) Good night (494) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"

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  (630): When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!" http://tfl.nu/oaz1
  Replies (5) Good night (494) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt