i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.