I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime