With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?