he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment