Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...