she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.