I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.