Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.