The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing