we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.