Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?