Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip http://tfl.nu/afxb
  Replies (0) Good night (570) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll http://tfl.nu/t4li
  Replies (12) Good night (570) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me (1-630): It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous http://tfl.nu/qwdq
  Replies (9) Good night (570) Bad night (2323)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.

  (858): View more from California

  I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman. (858): I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect. http://tfl.nu/7efm
  Replies (3) Good night (570) Bad night (162)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker. http://tfl.nu/03y7
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS. http://tfl.nu/4d7u
  Replies (17) Good night (570) Bad night (2940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner! http://tfl.nu/v9u1
  Replies (3) Good night (570) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn
  Replies (13) Good night (570) Bad night (1340) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned? http://tfl.nu/249l
  Replies (32) Good night (570) Bad night (6454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  ...oh my god that's like anal suicide

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): ...oh my god that's like anal suicide (1-260): I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak. http://tfl.nu/xgzk
  Replies (9) Good night (570) Bad night (1670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me? http://tfl.nu/wm16
  Replies (27) Good night (570) Bad night (2930) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now. http://tfl.nu/6kpj
  Replies (17) Good night (570) Bad night (1997)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa http://tfl.nu/h6ux
  Replies (29) Good night (570) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night? http://tfl.nu/sidd
  Replies (7) Good night (570) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes. http://tfl.nu/kd9i
  Replies (6) Good night (570) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt