So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.