i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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