My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed