So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe