i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.