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Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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