I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.