just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
