I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?