Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.