Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
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My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.