Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?