I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
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i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.