Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.