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we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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