I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm fucking your sister right now.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"