I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex