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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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