Texts From Last Night

hallediez's Favorites Texts:

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Never mind I found pizza just bring sex

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  (216): I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex (216): Never mind I found pizza just bring sex http://tfl.nu/1kkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1588) Bad night (372)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"

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  (913): He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat" http://tfl.nu/few2
  Replies (7) Good night (1301) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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  (330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1
  Replies (6) Good night (1238) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.

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  (330): This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs. http://tfl.nu/3hwl
  Replies (5) Good night (1824) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.

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  (585): N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/tsau
  Replies (8) Good night (2247) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out

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  (515): I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out http://tfl.nu/6wgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1459) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.

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  (770): Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed. http://tfl.nu/nhyv
  Replies (2) Good night (1647) Bad night (346)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

  (360): View more from Washington

  It was me.

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  (360): Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who. (360): It was me. http://tfl.nu/kgk9
  Replies (3) Good night (2525) Bad night (347)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.

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  (253): I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE. http://tfl.nu/sorm
  Replies (7) Good night (1537) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

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  (647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.

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  (505): Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard. http://tfl.nu/5mz2
  Replies (17) Good night (3143) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.

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  (310): I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are. http://tfl.nu/tz5c
  Replies (1) Good night (1679) Bad night (322)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.

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  (509): I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed. http://tfl.nu/6ffn
  Replies (5) Good night (2797) Bad night (454)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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  (505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu
  Replies (15) Good night (4646) Bad night (522)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."

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  (480): In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.." http://tfl.nu/m3fa
  Replies (6) Good night (2702) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense

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  (207): My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense http://tfl.nu/p3xl
  Replies (11) Good night (6156) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt