his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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