At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd