So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
