Texts From Last Night · foxrider175's Favorites

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foxrider175's Favorites Texts:

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(408): View more from California

he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

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(310): View more from California

Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?

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(678): View more from Georgia

I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me

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(573): View more from Missouri

I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"

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(713): View more from Texas

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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(847): View more from Illinois

so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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