he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye