he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye