Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
