So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home