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My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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