My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.