Texts From Last Night

Thor2DaCore's Favorites Texts:

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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  (702): Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/ihoh
  Replies (25) Good night (3042) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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  (919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2
  Replies (12) Good night (6202) Bad night (551)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

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  (757): So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real. http://tfl.nu/gd5o
  Replies (14) Good night (3660) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!

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  (587): Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?! http://tfl.nu/tyzg
  Replies (19) Good night (2083) Bad night (588)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.

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  (319): I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/0zto
  Replies (16) Good night (854) Bad night (2181) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard

  (1-510): View more from California

  Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.

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  (510): I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard (1-510): Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening. http://tfl.nu/lvw9
  Replies (5) Good night (2288) Bad night (622)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.

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  (973): i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex. http://tfl.nu/uspy
  Replies (13) Good night (2788) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

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  (403): I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string http://tfl.nu/a9dp
  Replies (9) Good night (1139) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (19646) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.

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  (+44): Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off. http://tfl.nu/7fq9
  Replies (12) Good night (5812) Bad night (792)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by

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  (517): Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity. (517): We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by http://tfl.nu/0fvy
  Replies (9) Good night (2876) Bad night (679)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

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  (317): my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card http://tfl.nu/9m1o
  Replies (39) Good night (1274) Bad night (3662) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

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  (+44): Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people. http://tfl.nu/uumz
  Replies (24) Good night (5868) Bad night (1041)