Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.