I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward