Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
