You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think I died a long time ago.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head