Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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