You just made me feel so damn special
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
