She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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